How to Write an Obituary: Structure, Examples, and What to Leave Out

An obituary is a short written notice that announces someone's death, honors their life, and shares the service details. To write one, you gather the key facts, tell a few true things about who they were, list their surviving family, and give the time and place of the service.

That is the whole task. It feels heavy right now, and it is. But an obituary follows a gentle, predictable shape, and you do not have to be a writer to do it well. Below is a simple structure, wording you can copy, and a short list of what to leave out.

What should an obituary include?

Most obituaries follow the same basic order. You can use this as a checklist:

1. Announcement — full name, age, town, and the date they died.
2. Life details — birth date and place, parents, education, work, military service.
3. Personality and passions — what they loved, who they were day to day.
4. Surviving family — those they leave behind, and those who passed before them.
5. Service information — date, time, and place of the funeral or memorial.
6. Closing line — donations, flowers, or a final thought.

You do not need every item. A short, honest obituary is always better than a long one that strains to fill space.

How do I start an obituary?

Open with the plain facts. This is the part people read first, and clear is kinder than clever.

A simple opening looks like this:

Margaret Ellen Carter, 78, of Asheville, North Carolina, passed away on May 28, 2026.

You can add a soft phrase about how they died if your family wants to, though you are never required to:

...passed away peacefully at home, surrounded by her family.

Common phrases include "died peacefully," "after a courageous battle with illness," or simply "died on." Choose what feels true and comfortable to you.

How do I write the life story part?

This is the heart of the obituary. You are not writing a full biography. You are choosing a handful of details that show who this person was.

Helpful prompts:

• Where were they born and raised?
• What work or role filled their days?
• What did they love — gardening, fishing, their grandchildren, their faith, their dog?
• What was a phrase they always said, or a thing only they did?

Then write a few short sentences. For example:

Margaret was born in Knoxville and spent forty years teaching third grade. She loved her garden, strong coffee, and Sunday dinners with a full table. She was known for never letting anyone leave hungry.

One vivid, specific detail says more than a long list of accomplishments. If you are stuck, ask another family member for the first memory that comes to mind.

How do I list surviving family members?

Family is usually listed in a set order, closest relationships first. A common pattern:

• Spouse or partner
• Children (and their spouses)
• Grandchildren and great-grandchildren
• Parents and siblings
• Sometimes close friends or pets

You can note those who died before them with a phrase like "preceded in death by." For example:

She is survived by her husband, James; her daughters, Anne (Tom) and Claire; and four grandchildren. She was preceded in death by her son, Michael.

Take care with names and spellings here. This is the detail families most often want corrected, so it is worth a second read by someone else.

How do I include the service details?

Be clear and complete so people can attend. Include:

• The type of service (funeral, memorial, graveside, celebration of life)
• The date and start time
• The full venue name and address
• Any reception or gathering afterward

If the service is private, you can simply say "A private service will be held" without giving the address. If you are also preparing the printed handout for the day, our gentle checklist for funeral programs walks through what to include.

What should I leave out of an obituary?

This part matters more than people expect. An obituary is public, and it stays online for years. To protect your family from fraud and intrusion, leave out:

• The full date of birth paired with the mother's maiden name — these are common identity-theft answers.
• The home address of the person who died or of grieving relatives.
• Exact times the family home will be empty during the service.
• Private medical details the person would not have wanted shared.
• Old conflicts or estrangements — an obituary is not the place to settle them.

You can honor someone fully without exposing your family. When in doubt, leave it out.

A short example you can adapt

Here is a complete, simple obituary you can use as a template:

Margaret Ellen Carter, 78, of Asheville, North Carolina, passed away peacefully on May 28, 2026.

Born in Knoxville, Tennessee, she spent forty years as a beloved third-grade teacher. She loved her garden, her grandchildren, and a full Sunday table.

She is survived by her husband, James; her daughters, Anne and Claire; and four grandchildren. She was preceded in death by her son, Michael.

A memorial service will be held at 2:00 p.m. on June 6, 2026, at Grace Chapel, 14 Elm Street, Asheville. In lieu of flowers, the family asks that donations be made to the local library.

Read it aloud before you publish. If it sounds like the person you loved, it is right.

A small note on the day itself

Once the words are written, you may also need a printed program, prayer cards, or a slideshow for the service. If that feels like one more weight, you do not have to start from a blank page. You can find calm, ready-to-edit printable memorial templates in our shop, and if you would like more help with the words, our guides on funeral program wording and writing a eulogy are here when you need them.

Take it one line at a time. You are doing a loving thing, and that is enough.